I must not live in a way that other people
expect. But it’s not as easy as you may think because I always lived as my
family expected and now when I grow up I realized that I have no chance to
change my goals and behaviour without problems. I have never been drinking
alcohol, smoking, playing truant or getting poor marks and now the whole family
expect that I am the most intelligent and dutiful person on the earth and no
one understand to the fact that maybe I am not this kind of person and maybe I don’t
want to be.
They always wanted me to go to grammar
school and then to a university and study and get an honours degree. But what
if I feel lost because I didn’t want to get an honours degree? Maybe it would
be better for me to have small shop with flowers and live simple and contended
life. But nobody cares.
I am always trying to make everybody happy
although it makes me troubles. I feel bad when people around me feel bad, so I
am trying to help them so much that then it’s me who is exhausted and feel even
more bad than they did. But there is no one who would help me.
I think that I must start to live in a way
I want and not to live in a way my family expect but it’s not so easy to change
myself after 20 years of obedience.

